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We express love in different ways and expect to be loved differently. Those we love sometimes might not know the language we understand best when it comes to expressing their love. What they might be doing might be “off points” to us. Their own way of saying “I love you” might be different from ours. The reason is because we have different languages of expressing love. There are five common love languages, which are words of affirmation, gifts, act of service, quality time and touch. There is need to understand the language our partner speaks to have a long-lasting and romantic relationship.
1. Words of Affirmation It is interesting to note that we speak our language through how we express our love to our partners. Those that speak the language of words of affirmation believe so much in words. They are the ones that won’t go a day without saying “I love you”. These people believe the only way they can be sure of their partner’s love and commitment is by his or her constant confession of love. They ask daily for those words and gets moody when their partners forgets sending love or romantic messages or by getting occupied by not ending the conversation with lovely words. People that speak this language need frequent words of assurance of love. Also, they do not joke with words and expect their partners to mean every words said. They pick and weigh every bits of conversation and anything said out of anger will not be taken lightly.
2. Gifts This is another love language spoken by people. Some people are believed to be loved when they are given gifts and surprises. The price tags of the gifts do not matter to them. All they want is to be given small and inexpensive gifts like greetings cards, flowers, fruits, chocolates, undies, stationery and so on. They feel that their partner will buy things for them if truly they are loved. It is easy to know those with this love language. They are the ones that will never visit their lover empty handed and they are fond of saying “bring something for me”. These people are not gold-diggers because they will genuinely appreciate whatever gifts they are given irrespective of the value.
3. Act of Service People with this love language are those that always want you to give a helping hand to them when they are busy with work, chores, assignment, laundry, cooking and so on. They believe you can only show love to them by assisting them. They also are willing to render service to their partners without any grudge or complaints. They help with house chores and make sacrifices when their partner is down or indisposed. These people will want you to stay with them in the kitchen, will ask you to give them the knife or help them chop vegetables. Asking for partner’s assistance or help does not mean they are lazy ; it is just the language they understand best. You sitting in the sitting room reading newspapers when the baby is crying means you are out of love for them.
4. Quality Time The people that has quality time as their love language are always clingy and always seeking for attention. They cannot do without seeing their partners for long. Not giving them time means you do not love them. If they are around you, they will not want to move away from you, they tag along with you anywhere you go, always want to have a chat with you and call you when you are out of sight. They also crave for opportunities to hang out, have a date, go on a picnic. Long distance relationship with breach in conversation are always difficult to handle by people with this love language. Loving them means giving and spending time with them.
5. Touch There are some people that believe in touch. Touch, as a love language do not mean sexual intercourse. These people believe in touch in terms of holding of hands, hugs, pecks, cuddling and all other forms of romantic physical touch. They are the ones that touch their partners often, they snuggle a lot and always crave for embrace. They believe they are loved when they feel the warmth of their partner’s body. These people hardly walk without holding hands. Some might even pretend to be cold or scared just because they want their partners to touch or hold them. People with this love language are easily identified. Many people misconceive this love language as flirting.
In conclusion, there are people with more than one love language. All that matters is to decode that of our spouse or lover to avoid arguments and have a smooth relationship. If our love language is different from our partners’, it is important to adjust and speak the language that is best understood by the person we love.
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