Why you Don't Have Close Friends
Why don’t I have close friends?
Most people find them self regularly asking the question “why don’t I have close friends” , this question is so common that it has become one of the predictive option Google search page will show you by just typing “ why don’t I have” in the Google search page .Most times we even believe our previous friendships ended as a result of us not really being as much good friend as our partner expects, this guilt, lack of confidence, low self esteem and a lot of other reasons make people ask this question regularly “ how do I become a better friend.
Often times people feel so guilty because they are not as committed to their former friendship as the other person or because the other person seems perfect and they feel they don’t have enough to offer to the friendship as much as the other person, they think that’s why the friendship ended.
What is really preventing you from having friends? Outlined below are few of the most common excuses people give them self when trying to justify why they don’t have good friends. In addition to that I have clearly explained what you should do or think when these excuses start rolling in your mind.
You feel you are too busy
Majority of us feel over-occupied and overbooked, so its not a surprise that we often feel excessively busy to spare any sensible time with your friends. Starting and keeping up friendships does require significant effort and time, there's no way to avoid these two. Even though, you have a busy life, you can discover ways to give your friendship a higher priority and set aside some time to spend with friends.
•Highlight it on your calendar. carve out time for your friends the same way you schedule time for your boring obligations. Make it mandatory in your weekly or monthly calendar. On you can just make it a point of duty that you never leave a social gathering with a friend without setting the next time you are going to see each other.
•You can also mix business with pleasure. Strategies ways to combine your social activities with errands and activities that you or your friends have to do. It can be anything: going for a business meeting, going to a salon, going to church together, shopping, etc it’s a gainful way to be productive while still sharing time with your friend
•Set up multiple appointments together. if you genuinely don't have time for various one-on-one sessions with friends, set up a group or social club together. It's a decent approach to connect acquaint your friends with one another. Obviously, you will have to make sure you are bringing together people with similar interest.
You feel you will be rejected
Making new friends means putting yourself out there, and that can be a intimidating. It's particularly scary when you are the type of person that has trust issues, if in the past, you have been betrayed, abused, or traumatized, or you are the kind of person that really feel insecure.
When you find it difficult to trust others, your friendships will be ruled by unnecessary apprehension of betrayal, fear of being let down, fear of feeling powerless and vulnerable. but, it is possible to overcome your fear of trusting others. By reading the right articles and believing the fact that your past experience with people is not a factor of your future experience, you should then try to figure out the root of your mistrust and look for ways to build both your present friendship and your future ones
For more general insecurities and apprehension or rejection, you should try and re-evaluate your attitude. Is it accurate to say that you are letting yourself believe the fact that in the event that somebody is not interested in your friendship as much as you are that it will be completely awful and be the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? Do you feel as though any rejection will taunt you forever or prove the fact that you're unlikable or bound to be friendless? These fears impede a person from making fulfilling friendships. No one likes to be rejected, yet there are healthier approaches to take a manage rejection and not make it feel so saddening.
•Just because somebody isn't keen on talking or hanging out with you doesn't naturally mean they're you as an individual. They may be busy, upset, or have different things going on in their life.
•In the event that somebody does reject you, that doesn't imply that you're useless or unlovable. Possibly they're having an awful day. Possibly they misread you or dint gets what you said, or perhaps they're not a pleasant individual themselves! Also, a rejection is not is most times not because of you.
•You're not going to like everybody you come across, and not everybody you meet is going to like you, its a normal fact of life, things Like dating, friendship are just a game of luck. Try to concentrate on the long term objective of making quality friendship, as opposed to becoming involved with the friendships that didn't work out.
•Expect rejection, it’s part of life. It never feels great, yet it’s normally not as bad as you think it will be. It's rarely the case that others are sitting around discussing it. Rejection doesn't leave a mark on your fore-head telling the next person that you have been rejected. Instead of feeling rejected, appreciate yourself and learn from the experience.
Improve your chances of having a friend by being a better person
Keep in mind that making a friend is simply the start of the journey into friendship. Friendships require some serious time and energy to form and even require more time and effort to make stronger. So as to move from acquaintance to good friends, you have to nurture and put effort and time into that new friendship. It's a procedure that needs time, interest, effort and enthusiasm for the other person.
•Be the kind of friend that you want to have. Relate with your friend just the way as you want them to treat you. Be trust worthy, honest, reliable, and willing to share yourself, your resources and your time.
•Always listen to them when they need you. To grow to a strong friendship with a person, you must always listen and give them your total support to them pretty much as you need them to listen and support you when you need it.
•Do not choke your friend with your presence. Try not to be excessively needy or clingy, and make certain not to take for granted your friend's generosity. Everybody needs space and time for himself or for other people.
•Try not to set an excess of principles and expectations. Rather, allow your friendship to grow naturally. You're both different with different upbringing people so your friendship may not grow in the direction or at the rate you anticipated.
•Try to have a forgiving mindset. Nobody is blameless and people make mistakes. No friendship grows easily so when there is a hard feeling in the way, attempt to figure out how to solve the issue and move on. It will deepen your feeling for each other as a friend.