Funny Sports Talks

Hilarious And Funny Sport Quotes

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Sports undoubtedly have it all: glam, gloom, pure unrivaled entertainment value and thrilling memories to cherish for generations. To lift the gloom of the last article about sport tragedies, here are some of the most memorable quotes that have been uttered in the crazy world of sports, and they range from the most hilarious, boastful, and to the most downright bizarre.

To kick off the party, here are some memorable quotes from people who obviously need to go back to the classroom and improve on their horrible mathematics skills (or carry calculators around in their pockets) before they open their mouths the next time:

  1.    “We must have had 99 percent of the match. It was the other 3 percent that cost us.” It seems like former Holland international turned manager,Ruud Gullitoperates on more than the normal 100% we are all used to when he said this after a game.
  2.   “We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees”– Jason Kidd. Some of us that paid attention in mathematics class know that a 360 degree turn would end in the same direction it started.
  3.   “You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.” Boxing trainerLou Duva.No need dragging this any further.
  4.   “Cardiff’s owner is a billionaire. He’s worth about 850 million Euros.”Ronnie Irani.He’s still 250 million short of the billionaires club.
  5.   “The possession stats at one point were 77% to 33%.”Mick Quinn.77 + 33 = 110. Looks like Quinn and Gullit have been exchanging notes.
  6.   “Getting picked gives you half that confidence, or 50 percent of it.”Glenn Hoddletrying to drive his point home.
  7.   “The half-time whistle blows and I have one word for you: Absolutely brilliant.”Sam Matterface trying his best to slip one by us.
  8.   “Bolton have won just three of their last two games.”Ian Abrahamsmust be a time traveler or a bad mathematician.
  9.   “They’re the second best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise like that.”Kevin Keegan,here, making the first best team in the world feeling like real losers.
  10.   “There are two ways of winning the ball. One is from your own teammates, and that’s the only way.”Terry Venablescan’t keep up with his own counting.
  11.   “I’ve had 14 bookings this season – 8 of which were my fault, but 7 were disputable.”Paul Gascoigne’scounting is disputable.
  12.   “Any manager will tell you that they would rather win one and lose two than to draw three, because you get more points.”One win + two losses = 3 points; 3 draws = 3 points.Les Ferdinand must know something that we don’t know, yet.

Up next are some of the most bizarre quotes in sports that make one wonder what could have possibly made the following people to have opened their mouths and puzzle us with quotes like:

  1.   “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”Lou Duvamaking another puzzling appearance.
  2.   “You guys line up alphabetically by height.”Bill Peterson.
  3.   “I owe a lot to my parents, especially to my mother and my father.”Greg Normanhas more than two parents, it appears.
  4.   “They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.”Tito Fuentesis confused about how many children he has fathered.
  5.   “My sister is expecting a baby, I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”Chuck Nevitt.
  6.   “This is a really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.” Racehorse trainer,Ted Walshneeds to be more specific next time.
  7.   “I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.”Terry Bradshawisn’t clear on how synonyms work.
  8.   “What I saw in Holland and Germany was that the majority of people are Dutch in Holland and German in Germany.”Peter Taylor’spower of keen observation is top notch.
  9.   “I don’t want Rooney to leave these shores but if he does, I think he’ll go abroad.”CaptainIan “Obvious” Wright.
  10.   “Will Chelsea qualify with ease? I think they will, but it won’t be easy.”Jamie Redknapp.
  11.   “Most of Michael Owen’s goals have come in the past.”Dan Walkerseems unimpressed with how football works.
  12.   “And with four minutes gone, the score is already 0-0.”Ian Dark
  13.   “I don’t think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona.”Kevin Keegandoing his best (but failing miserably) to shed some light on Maradona’s stature.
  14.   “I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.”David Beckham.
  15.   “I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.”Barry Venisondoesn’t dress normal.
  16.   “The team was the best player on the pitch.”Ilkay Gundogan.Err…Okay, whatever you say, G.

And finally, the most hilarious quotes; ones that make us cackle wildly like tickled babies. The sporting world won’t be forgetting these quotes in a hurry:

  1.   “I love the Olympics because they enable people from all over the world to come together and regardless of their political or cultural differences, accuse each other of cheating.”Dave Barry.Gold.
  2.   “The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23!”Kevin Keeganmakes it three out of three with this cheeky dig.
  3.   “Statistics are like bikinis – they show a lot but not everything.” Very well said,Lou Piniella.
  4.   “I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.”Muhammad Alididn’t become a boxing legend just by his fists alone, but by his ability to drop awesome quotes.
  5.   “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”Muhammad Ali.

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