How to Handle a Cheating Spouse or Partner : 8 Steps

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Do you have trust issues with your partner? How did you feel when you realized your partner is not or has not been faithful to you? Do you love your partner so much that you felt ending the relationship is not the option? Do you still feel you can make things work out between you both? If yes, here are some steps that might help you handle the issue at hand.

1. Getting your facts or proof(s)

You do not have to jump into conclusion after reading a seducing chat/message that is not from you, after receiving a luring call from the opposite sex on your partner’s phone, after seeing a condom in your partner’s possession or after noticing changes in your relationship. Get your facts right, take your time to have something solid to show as evidence so that you won’t make a fool out of yourself. You cannot just conclude because of a mere text, call or stories from outsiders. Do not spoil your relationship because of lack of patience. In your course of gathering your facts, you might have the answers you needed or get to know that you were being wrong all along. Whatever you saw as signs might not be true.

2.  Confrontation

After finding out the facts and getting to know that your partner is actually guilty, you will do well by your gentle and loving confrontation. Although it is not easy to keep calm in such situation, but the best way to handle it is to be calm. Tell him/her what you saw, read or heard because you are worthy of an explanation. Hear the part of your partner’s story even if you know the truth is being withheld. Things will not work out if you start beating or throwing objects or threatening to end the relationship. A gentle and heart to heart conversation will encourage the truth to be told. Being violent will give the cheating partner have something to hold against you, which may lead to making a fool out of yourself and make you be the loser during the confrontation process. If he/she lies to you, take your calm instead of ranting or insulting. If you later discover your points were wrong, apologise to your partner and am sure he or she will understand. Be wise in your confrontation, because it can make or mare the relationship.

3.  Know why he/she is cheating

After your partner confesses to his or her offence, ask for the reason(s) behind the actions. (You can read about why men cheat here)  If it is from your imperfections, work on yourself and if not, both of you should deal with it. If your partner still loves you, he or she will work together with you to make the relationship work and to stop the cheating act.

4.  Inform others of the Act

You can inform other people, especially those people you know your partner respects and listens to. They can be friends, family members, colleagues at work or religious leaders. Stop suffering in silence if the cheating still persists. A problem shared is the one solved. While doing this, you have to be careful and watchful of words. Do not paint your partner bad in the public so as to avoid public disrespect after the issue has been solved. Telling outsiders of this issue can be seen as exposure of relationship or family affairs which can be misinterpreted and not taken lightly by the guilty spouse. To avoid this, wisdom and care should be taken.

5.  Prayers

If you are hooked up with a cheat and all your pleadings for change keep flying out of your spouse’ ears, you can try to satisfy him or her. Stop nagging, complaining or shedding tears but instead go to God in prayers. All things are possible through prayers.

6.  Separation

If the cheating case worsens, separation from such partner is allowed. This is to guarantee your safety both sexually and emotionally. The Holy Books support separation on the basis of adultery. If staying away from such partner will guarantee your happiness, why are you then hesitating?

7.  Forgive, forget and forge ahead

To err is human but to forgive is divine. The ability to forgive a cheating partner after he or she has recognised his/her fault and sought for forgiveness is very important. Partners should learn how to forgive each other and forget of the past. References should not be made and the past mistakes should not be brought to the present or in the future. Progress should be made and the couple should forge ahead to make their relationship the best.Try reading this article about how to bring back the spark in a relationship to help you restore your relationship to a lovely state

8.  Leave such relationship if there are no changes

After the gentle treatment, denials of confrontations and failed promises to change and you are not married to your partner; it is advisable to leave such a relationship. You cannot say that you love a serial cheat and continue with such person. Staying or managing an unrepentant or non-remorseful partner could result to contacting STDs, emotional trauma, loss of dignity and death. It is not worth it being in an unhappy relationship with no hope of positive changes. Opt out of such relationship and move on with your life because there are many single faithful people out there.

For those that are not ready to leave a cheating partner you can read this article Tips to keep and maintain your relationship to help you in your relationship

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Wish you Good luck

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