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The importance of communication cannot be overemphasized. This is because it keeps a relationship going. When two people from different backgrounds, tribes and religions come together to be in a relationship, there is need for communication to enable you have an idea of your spouse’s perspective of things.Communication can be defined as the transfer of information from one person to another.
A relationship where there is honest communication cannot fall apart. The emphasis is on honesty because most people actually have communications in their relationships but are never honest. They do not express their true feelings probably because of the fear of offending their partner and they are not always honest about things they have done. So in this case, these couples will also tell you about how they communicate yet the relationship did not work but they will leave out the part of how they were not honest with themselves and they mostly just said what they felt their partner needed to hear instead of saying how they really felt and what they really had in mind. So it is honest communication that keeps a relationship strong and not just any form of communication at all.
How To Have A Honest And Healthy Communication
- Find the Right Atmosphere:
If you want to talk to your partner about something bothering you, you have to find the right time. It is better to have serious conversations face to face, so do not call your partner when you know they will be busy at work. But for those who do not have the luxury of seeing their partners soon, those in long distance relationships (read about long distance relationship here), you could call your partner at night and make sure they are well rested before you talk about it.
You cannot start talking about something important when they just got back from work and they had a long day or when they are not in a good mood or when they had a bad or stressful day. It is better to wait for your partner to relax, take a shower, eat (read about the importance of food here) and when you see that they are relaxed, you can just bring up what is bothering you, you could also wait for the time when they are happy.
Better still, you can adopt the Nollywood method where they will always wake their partner up to have conversations only in the midnight. Who knows, it may just be the right time to talk to your spouse too. It is necessary to wait for the right time because if you talk to your partner when they are stressed, or when you interrupt their sports game or their favorite TV show, it is likely that they transfer aggression or say what they do not really mean or they may not even listen to you at all or sleep off in the middle of the conversation and you may end up getting angry. You do not want a small issue to be escalated just because you did not wait for the right time. Therefore, it is also important that are also in the right mood or at least that you are calm before you have the conversation.
- Be Honest
The importance of honesty cannot be overemphasized. You have to be honest when you are talking to your spouse. The truth maybe hurtful and it may be difficult to say it because of the fear that you may hurt their feelings, but honest communication is the key to healthy relationship. Your partner also needs to hear the truth and know how you really feel, you will also feel better if you are honest because if you are not you may end up carrying unnecessarily grudges. Let your partner know that you do not expect them to be perfect and that is why you are being honest so that they can apologize and know not to behave in that manner next time. It will make the relationship healthy.
- Listen Patiently
When you are having a serious conversation with your spouse, also give them the chance to make their point. Allow them to also say what they feel. It may not even be a big issue, it may have just been a case of miscommunication and you will not know unless you give your partner the chance to talk. Do not make accusations and be careful of the kind of language you use and the words you say when talking because it may be the choice of wrong words that will get your partner angry and it will end up escalating to something big.
- Do Not Be Too Quick To Respond
Most of the time, we do not listen to understand but we listen to reply. We just pick a part of their speech and use it to attack them; we do not even try to understand where they are coming from. If that is what you do, you need to start listening to understand the point of view of your partner and not just to reply. Listen to their opinion, digest it well, and think about it before you talk back. This is why you should be calm when having this kind of conversations because if you are not, you will not think before you reply and you may end up saying hurtful things. Remember, you cannot take back your words so make it a part of you to try to understand where one is coming from so that you will not end up jumping into conclusions.
You also need to learn to let things go. After having a honest conversation with your spouse and they admit their mistakes and apologizes, forget the issue and do not bring up the issue again. If there is need for you to apologize, also do so. Do not refer back to their mistakes anytime there is a quarrel. Once you are able to communicating honestly and effectively with your spouse, you two will be able to get through anything together and it will lead to a lasting relationship (read on how to maintain a relationship here). Lack of communication can lead to insinuations, insecurity (read about how to handle insecurity in a relationship), wrong assumptions and when these factors start showing in a relationship, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship crash.
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