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Domestic violence: So many people do not even realize that they are in abusive relationships. There are not aware that those very little and subtle actions of their partner are forms of violence and can escalate as time goes on. Some people also decide to turn a blind eye to the signs that they are in abusive relationships while some other people are actually conscious of the fact that they are in abusive relationships but they have the mindset that if they leave their partner because of a little act of violence every now and then, they do not know how badly or worse their next partner maybe. Some people believe that they deserve to be treated that way, they think that if they did not do things to annoy their partner, their spouse will not have reacted in a violent way.
Sadly, people have the mindset that apart from physical violence, any other form of violence can be managed and can be accepted. But the truth is violence is violence irrespective of the type of violence it is and all forms of violence are equally difficult to experience.There are various forms of domestic violence in a relationship but the most common forms are physical, verbal, sexual, emotional violence.
- Physical Violence
It is widely believed that this is the most common form of violence because it has the most noticeable and obvious effect. Physical violence is any harmful contact with someone and it may or may not leave bruises on the body. Examples of physical violence are hitting, punching, slapping, kicking, throwing objects amongst others(read on how to know a wife beater here)
- Verbal Violence
This is the most overlooked form of violence but truth is in most cases verbal violence often lead to physical violence. Verbal violence is when you have a partner who constantly talks you down, never sees the good in you and always feels that whatever good you do is crap or when they realize that you achieved something great, they find a way to associate it with themselves. For example, they believe that it is their presence in your life or their influence in your life that made you to achieve it and that you are not capable of achieving anything on your own.
People do not really take concrete note of this form of violence and they just tend to overlook it because it does not have any physical effect, but verbal violence is a serious issue because most of the time, people develop low self esteem and begin to have the mindset that they probably are really not good enough since their partner who is close to them believes that.
- Sexual Violence
This is a common form of violence. It is when your partner feels that because there is a form of relationship between both of you, he or she has the right to have sexual intercourse with you at any point in time or any day even if you are not in the mood. If you are being pressured or forced into having sexual intercourse, then you are being abused by your partner. Just because you have sex with them willingly in the past does not mean they have the right to force you into having sex. Sex should always be a mutual consent between you and your partner and if there are times that you had sex against your will, you are being sexually abused.
- Emotional Violence
Emotional abuse is similar to verbal abuse and is also known as psychological violence. It happens when your partner talks you down, says derogatory or hateful words to you. However, your partner can be emotionally abusing you with no words. This happens when your partner constantly ignores you or gives you silent treatment, is overly obsessive and jealous, judges you, tries to control your every action, makes you feel like you are not important, not responding when you talk to them and they constantly degrade you or makes you feel irrelevant.This kind of abuse also has huge psychological effects and it leads to esteem issues.
Common Signs of An Abusive Relationship
When you constantly or occasionally feel manipulated, humiliated, talked down, ignored, broken, scared, battered and intimidated. Also, if your partner keep constant tabs on you, they make you discard your friends and try to isolate you from your family members, they feel you have to ask for their permission before you do anything, or they find faults in everything that you do. These are few signs that you are in an abusive relationship and you need to take actions against this
How To Handle An Abusive Relationship
If you are in an abusive relationship, you should really be grateful that you acknowledge the signs before the relationship progressed into marriage. This is the time for you to take the right decision and LEAVE. It does not matter how many years and time you have invested into the relationship, you deserve to be treated better by someone who will appreciate you and will see it as priority to help you succeed by being supportive.
For those who are married to abusive partners, most of the time, they saw the signs that their spouse is abusive way before they got married to them but they either turned a blind eye to it or told themselves that it is not so bad or it is manageable or that they can change their partner after marriage. They believe that since they are married, they cannot leave their partners because of a little act of violence and in cases where the marriage produced kids, they cannot leave their partner for the sake of their kids. But the truth is, your life is actually equally important and if your partner is abusing you, you need to leave them, forget all the flimsy or important excuses you have not to leave and take the action.
If you stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of your kids and you lost your life to a violent partner, you will not even be alive to take care of these kids and besides, you do not want a violent partner to raise your kids. So it is a million times better for you to be alive and be with your kids than to be dead because you will not be able to control how they will be treated
Never make an excuse for an abusive behavior because no one deserves to be with an abusive partner. It is not your fault that your partner is abusive because you are not responsible for the actions of your partner and unless they recognize their issues and fix it that is the way they will treat the people after so it absolutely has nothing to do with you that your partner is violent. Help yourself and save yourself from the heartache and pain by walking away(read more about how to leave a relationship) from domestic violence.
Good luck
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