Dealing with Heartbreak

Overcoming and Getting Over Heartbreaks in a Relationship

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Heart breaks come with or without prior notice. They are just like August visitors and bomb blasts. It can happen at any stage of the relationship – early, middle or when the relationship is at its peak. Nobody prays to be heart broken by someone he or she cares about but we cannot escape from them. Irrespective of the time, resources, commitments, sacrifices, numerous meals cooked, the number of times legs are hanged on the ceilings and muscles used just to satisfy your partner sexually and all the ingredients used as savor in a relationship, there are still a chance or chances for the relationship to end, either willingly or forcefully. Some people walk out of their relationship while some are bounced out by their partners. Break ups could be mutual or one – sided. The most type of painful break up is the one that is unplanned for. When your dream future partner, someone you love and care about or your partner of whom your world revolves around wakes up one morning, call or send a message that he or she is no more interested in the relationship and it is not April 1st, you will feel your world crumble at your feet. Being rejected and disappointed can lead to emotional trauma for some people while some turn to a serial lover or a cheat.

Both men and women undergo heart breaks. The men due to their nature are known to get over pains easily, which is not true because the men have the same blood, veins and emotions as women. A man will not be moved when his girlfriend walks out of the relationship only if he does not truly love the lady. But a guy that worships a lady will be hurt if she leaves. The women are the emotional ones, they are clingy and when they love, they do with their whole hearts. So, when they are being jilted, they feel the pain for a very long time. Some can even turn to drug or sex addicts or to a psychopath or mental illness patients. It is very possible to overcome that suicidal feeling one have after many failed pleas to have the relationship back.  Being disappointed is not the end of the world. The few steps needed to get over heart breaks are discussed in the following paragraphs.

Let Out the Pain

The first step is to let out the pain. This can be done by crying. You are not weak neither are you a coward if you shed tears. Express the pain, cry out the disappointment but this is preferable to be done in your closets or with your trusted friends. It is not a big deal to cry in your partner’s presence but if his or her mind does not change after this, you have to dry your tears or continue it in your privacy. Throw things up, scatter the room, punch the walls, and be crazy in your own little ways. Be careful when doing things so as not to destroy your possessions and costly belongings. That is why it is good to have people around you when you are letting it out. Some people say that nobody is worth their tear which is not always true especially when love is involved. How can you be separated from someone you are crazy about and not shed tears? Letting out those hot tears will relieve you of the burden and pain.

Stay Around Loved Ones

Another step of recovery is to always be around people, friends and loved ones. Do not restrain yourself from those that can make you smile. Hang out with people, attend ceremonies, parties, events and enjoy your life. Intensify your calls, chats and contacts with friends. This is why it is wrong and not healthy to shut out your friends and family members because of your partner or when you are in a relationship (read about striking a balance between your spouse and your family here). These people have your backs both in rain and in sunshine and they will never break your heart, whether you are cool or annoying. Being lovey dovey with your partner at the expense of other relationships and friendship should be avoided. Do not be trapped in a situation where by you now start begging for friendship and audience when you are heart broken or when you need listening ears.

Be Involved in Social Activities

You can also be involved in activities such as church activities, societal or voluntary activities. Instead of sitting in a corner and be sulking, you can keep yourself busy by joining a club or an association where you meet people, help people and train yourself. This period should be a blessing in disguise by working hard, diligent and more focused on your dreams and career. It should be the time of doing better things for yourself or an avenue to develop a skill, learn a trade, further education, and improve on your weaknesses, improve on your physic, and engage in different kinds of sport and exercises to keep fit. Use the disappointment as a stepping stone to each the zenith of your life. A victim of heart break should not be idle. Idleness can make you have evil thoughts or to do irrational things. There is a better chance to recover quickly when you are fully engaged either with your work or other activities. Train yourself to be a better person, meet better people and make the person that left you regret his or her actions. Go out and you may meet a good and a better lover.

Endeavor to Look Good

Always look good even if you cried all through the night. Do not look haggard or rough because someone broke your heart. Brush up your self-esteem, make your hair, have a nice haircut, dress nice and neat, take care of your personal hygiene(read about personal hygiene here), visit the spa, do your manicure and pedicure treatment, wear nice make-up, perfume and shoes. Walk straight coupled with a lovely smile. Do not look as if you are carrying the greatest problem in the world neither should you be downcast nor gloomy. If you have the cash, go for shopping to ease tension and to make yourself happy.

Open Your Heart to Love Again

Another way is to open your heart to love again but with caution. If you zip up your heart, many good guys will walk away. Do not become an iron lady or a hard to love man. Give the opposite sex around you the freedom to be your friend instead of sending them away with your actions and verbal words. At the same time, be careful not to rush into another relationship. Going into a new relationship days or weeks after a fresh break up is risky because it is possible for your thinking to be clouded which could lead to wrong choice. One can take loneliness and the need to have someone around as a substitute for love. This can lead to further break up. The wicked and heartless opposite sex can use the opportunity to toy with emotions and one’s body. Give time for the wounds to heal up so that you can make rational decisions when loving again.

Forget the Past and Move on

The last step is to leave your past in the past ( read about why you should stop living in the past here). This can be done by forgetting the pains and by moving on. Do not call; send text messages, chats or friends to the person that left you. Stop stalking, checking his or her dps and status on social networks. Do not stalk him or her because they are not worth all those stress. Delete his or her number, pictures, messages, chats or anything that will make you remember him or her from your phone and closet. If you find it hard to delete the number from your memory, improvise another means of displacing them from your head by storing other people’s contacts. If you see him or her by chance, be the happiest being at that moment. Even if you feel the tears coming out, fake a smile and let him or her be wondering if you ever missed them. See the disappointment as a blessing and move on to the next level. Thank God it happened because He has greater plans and He is preserving and building you for a glorious future.

Wish you Good luck

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