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We have emotions, ego, and feelings that can be hurt by the people around us. There is no way we will live with people without being offended. We offend people in our day to day activities and therefore should expect disappointment and offenses from others. Getting angry is normal but can be dangerous to overall health, mind, and relationship with others when not controlled. There is a great need to watch our temper and reduce the way we express our anger when wronged. The violent and hot-tempered people can work on their emotions with time because anger management is not a day’s work. (Read an interesting article on Stress And How to Manage it here)
There are ways by which people express their anger. Some engage in violent expression by saying hurtful words to the ones they are angry at. Some explode by throwing fists and objects, some people vent their anger by being aggressive while others are silent-killers. They simply avoid those that offend them by keeping malice because they believe that is the only way to avoid being physical with the offender. Inability to manage and suppress anger destroys your personal relationship with people. It can lead to loss of opportunities, jobs or career. Anger also can lead to mental illness, lack of concentration and the displacement of the mind. Some things can be done to suppress anger outburst are discussed in the following paragraphs.
- Discover The Causes of Anger
The first way of treating the anger problem is to discover yourself and the things that people do that makes them get on your nerves. Discovering of temperaments (read more on personalities here) is a way of knowing anger-triggering factors. After knowing what makes you get angry, try to avoid these things. Avoid getting in touch with those things and people that cause your bursting out.
- Think Before Uttering Words
Be careful of what you say when you are angry. It is good to always keep calm and be silent when angry so as not to say what you will regret later. You can express your mind and emotions without hurting others. This can be done by keeping calm when things are hot or when you are still boiling and postpone talks or words till after you are calm. (Reasons, Tips, and Benefits of Overcoming Shyness)
- Seclude Yourself From Others When Angry
If you are offended and are really hurt, the best thing to do is to leave the room, area or the spot at which the incidence occurred. Take a walk, stroll, jog and move away from the person that offended you. You can also go into the room to sleep or take a siesta. Your mind would have settled by the time you wake up and the heat would have gone down. By doing this, your words or utterances will be harmless and fair.
- Have a Good Conversation with The Person That Offends You
Talk with a calm mind with that person that got on your nerves. Have a good communication (read on the role of communication on relationship here) with him or her. Tell them what you can and cannot tolerate, apologize when necessary, forgive, forget and move on. The ability to forgive those who offend us go a long way in controlling our temper.
- Focus On The Positive Aspects of The Offender
A very good way of managing anger is by focusing on the good things the person that offends you has done for you. Remember the good times, the days both of you have had together and the times he or she have helped you out of situations. Focusing on the good sides of that person will go a long way in calming you down. (5 Tips For Creating a Good Relationship With Your Roommates)
In Conclusion
Read books, listen to messages and consult help or counsel on how to manage anger.
Do not forget that life is too sweet and short to be worrying your mind about what others have done to you. We are imperfect neither are we angels that are without flaws. Control your anger before it destroys you!!!
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