Things to Consider before Breaking up

Why and How You Should Break up a Relationship

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Relationships cannot always go right or follow our desired ways. We, as human beings proposes but God disposes. We are just doing our best not knowing what the future holds. You might have started a relationship well, hoping it lasts forever but things may later go wrong along the way. Breaking up should not be done carelessly or without any feel of human nature. Before discussing the right way to end a relationship without hurting the other person, we should know few of the good reasons or platforms on which break up should be based.

1. Unavoidable Situations

Situations may arise that could lead to the separation of two lovers. One of which is the issue of distance between a couple. When two lovers are far away from each other, love tends to be shaken, trust becomes hard and the relationship undergo different storms. In this case, the partners, if they are unable to bridge the distance and the associated problems can make a mutual decision to let go of each other, instead of frequent fights and disagreements (read about long distance relationship here).

2. Infidelity and Unfaithfulness

A partner has the right to end a relationship if or when the other partner is engaged in sexual activities with others. Breaking up with an unrepentant serial lover and a cheat is a normal thing to do. This is to avoid the transmission of sexual related diseases and other complications associated with unfaithfulness (read about sexual transmitted diseases here).

3. Sterility  

This issue is controversial most times. Some people believe love is meant to cover all short comings while others do not. It is better to end a relationship if you cannot cope with a man that has low libido, #ejaculation problems or sterility issues or a woman that cannot conceive than going about cheating on them and hurting their feelings. Only few of those with fertility issues can allow you go for other choices. If they do, you can stick with them and allow love to reign but if not, you are free to leave such relationships.

4. Domestic Violence

Never should you, as a male or female, stay with a psychopath, an obsessed lover or a wife beater. If you are seeing some signs that are acting as red flags in your relationship, it is better to end such relationship rather than risking your life, health and happiness. Relationship is meant to be enjoyed and not endured.

5. Parental Advice

Parental advice are important and not to be discarded all the time. If your parent(s) kick against your relationship due to some reasonable reasons void of tribal or social class excuses, it will be better to obey them. Parental consent should be given to your relationship or marriage. Their blessings help in the relationship. Parents also act as intermediaries and channels to settle rancor and dispute in the relationship. You can also through your spouse’s parents and family members if you need any favour from their child. How do you intend to cope if you do not have a good rapport with your in-laws?

6. Blood Group, Genotype and Health Complexities:

If you find out that you are not compatible with your partner when it comes to blood group, it is highly advisable to end the relationship so as to avoid future regret and grief. Do not allow love to cover your senses now neither should you subject your unborn children to pains. Go for blood test and medical check up at the inception of the relationship. Know the health and HIV status of your partner to know if you can forge ahead in the relationship and to know if it will be safe to have unprotected sex. Although it is not advisable to have unprotected sex, but one cannot continue to use protection in marriage. Take note of all these because a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Do not give room for divorce or single parenting. Put your future happiness in considerations now before it is too late.

How to End the Relationship

After considering these points and you see the need to end your present relationship, there are many nice ways to go about it. The first is to have a face to face conversation with your partner. Make a date or a meeting where discussion will take place. Both of you should sit and have a heart to heart discussion. Give your partner tangible reasons for ending the relationship. If it is about the blood group, health or distance issue, break up should be mutual. Avoid breaking up with your partner on phone or through chats. However, some relationships are better broken on phone or by giving distance. Examples are those that are in a violent relationship. Do not go to your partner place for any discussion if he or she is violent because that might be the end of your life. Please, be wise.

1. Do Not Break up After Having Sex with Your Partner

Some people can be so funny and weird by breaking up with their partner after sexual intercourse. If you are tired of him or her, do not tell them after sex. Your actions may be interpreted as taking advantage, which might be right or wrong. Even if that is the case, do not let them know. End the relationship in a way that you will not be poured acid on.

2. Avoid breaking up with flimsy excuses

Some people are fond of coming up with some silly lines to break up with your partner. Do you not know he/she is this or that before entering the relationship? Why then should you use their shortcomings as an excuse to end the relationship.

3. Avoid Making Comparisons During the Breakup

Avoid making comparisons between your partner and other people or potential lover as a means of getting back at your partner or breaking up. Do not make your partner jealous by putting up pictures of other people on display. Also, learn to appreciate the strengths, commitments, dedications and good things that have been done by your partner in the past and do not always refer to or dwell on your partner’s weaknesses when you want to break up with them.

In conclusion

Respect their feelings and always put yourself in their shoes before breaking up. Remember that everyone has their weak spot and nobody fell from the sky. Breaking up with your partner should not lead to enmity between both of you. You might need each other’s help in the future. 

Wish you Good luck

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